Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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