My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
