why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Well I just put wine in my tea
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
