East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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