I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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