If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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