pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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