So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
