Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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