Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
