the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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