In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
