Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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