I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
smell my finger.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
