wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
