I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
