I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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