If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize