Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
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He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
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he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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