Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
