I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my being single is dangerous.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
my liver is dry heaving
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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