Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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