trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
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i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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