Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
