I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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