I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
