I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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