How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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