I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
