Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
