I heard we made out
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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