So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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