Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
