Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
