i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
