Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
