I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
