Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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