apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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