Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
