Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
