i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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