It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
