Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
