I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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