I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
