I want to stick my p in your. b.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
