Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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