guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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