Your favorite bartender is back from prision
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
