i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
