Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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