omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
