the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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