the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
