Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
