we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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