just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
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He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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