We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
