Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize