I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
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If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize