fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
