I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
