May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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