He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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