My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
