Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
