It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
