I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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