This girl is more easily done than said...
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
