Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
