I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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