their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
