i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
